This blog is for you my fellow lupies… or generally ill immuned.
Do you ever get mad??? Do you ever get angry??
Of course you do. But I mean at your illness. I find myself getting more and more angry at my lupus. Not only the lupus, but everything that comes along with it. People either judge me incapable, or feel sorry for me…and I don’t want either. I appreciate when people say how far I’ve come, I really do. I have tried very hard and overcome huge obstacles in the past year to get where I am.
But when people pity me– no thank you. I’m still human just like everyone else, I just fight harder.
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Back in December 2011. Too pretty? For a wheelchair? Come on, don’t even get me started!
However, I have to admit… I used to be one of ‘those’ people. When I’d see someone in a wheelchair, I didn’t treat them any differently, but I felt a little sad inside my soul for them. Why? Because they had harder lives than I did…or so I thought. Truth be told, they were probably happier and more content with themselves than most of us capable of walking. If there’s one thing that chronic illness has taught be is to be more humble. I don’t know half of what I think I do about anyone or anything. I’ve always heard the phrase “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” but it becomes more true to me every day. One thing I’ll never forget is going to an Easton Corbin concert, and I was in my wheelchair at the time. As I rolled by a group of ladies talking, I overheard one say, “She’s too pretty to be in a wheelchair.”
WHAT?!?! How does that make any sense? If I could have I’d have stood up out of my chair and walked right up to her and asked her to explain exactly what that meant. Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. You can be pretty, ugly, white, black, blue, or green- we are all humans and should ultimately all be treated equally. Right?
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
(Sorry in advance for the rant, I will give an update of the past couple months in a day or so. But it is late and that will be one long post.)
Hey Rebecca, I love your blog and I am a frim believer that you can do whatever you put your mind to do! The greatest thing about you is that you don’t allow your condition to be your crutch! You continue to push your way through and that is what I admire about you! TEAM BECCA!
Thanks Chenille
You are quite an amazing lady yourself!
I do get angry at this lupus when it interrupts my plans. Sometimes I find myself grieveing the lost of wellness and strength. I really get angry when I push myself to an event because I want to be there and hear from well meaning people “You look so pretty”.and “You don’t look sick at all”.
What happened to greetings? To saying “It is so good to see you’?
Sometimes I feel sad because of the unpredictable lupus roller coaster and the far too close together up and downs my body goes through. But God sees me through each one and restores my joy.
I love your blog and look forward reading each post.
JoyfulNHope, You seem to have taken the words right out of my head. I’m not angry at the people, or lupus itself, jut the situations it brings on. I too push myself too far, to my limit, and end up paying for it. Lupus is definitely a roller-coaster. Luckily, right now, I am doing well. And I am grateful for every hour, minute, and second of it.
I am so glad you understand my point about greetings! It’s like people think you should act or seem sick constantly, when all you want for yourself is to be healthy and normal. Why are they so surprised? Perhaps one day people will understand… until then, we will just have to help them
I have been angry at my lupus at times, but find that it doesn’t do much good except to motivate me to not want to be a victim to it. There are some things I just cannot change, but there are things I can affect. I can exercise to become stronger, I can eat healthy, get enough rest, take my meds, and even submit to my need for a wheelchair for long “walking” excursions. I saw the national captial as a wheelchair sight-seer, and have done many Christmas shopping trips over the years from a rolling seat. An upcoming business conference will include an all day trip to Disneyland with my husband, all from the seat of a wheelchair. I am just glad I have a husband who encourages me to stay in my limits and is willing to push the chair! LA
I am not angry anymore. I have decided that’s wasted energy. I’m glad that you don’t let it get you down. It shouldn’t. You are such a strong lady, and an inspiration, in all that you do! I am grateful for every moment that I have on this earth now days- sitting, standing, or rolling! =)
Good for you!
Just try to keep your perspective, and don’t let lupus have enough control to take away your joy! Life is to way too short to be a victim. LA
I agree. In a moment of anger, I let things get to me and vented. But overall, 95% of the time, I am optimistic. I think it is really the only way to live a happy life! There are so many wonderful things out there in this world, no reason to get weighed down by the negatives. And I certainly don’t want to be the ‘victim’. Thanks for the positivity!